The Stroke Effect

WHY DIDN’T ANYONE WARN ME?

I had no idea my husband would fall into such a deep, crushing depression — one that felt like it lasted forever. After a stroke, most patients move through six stages: denial, anger, pleading with God, depression, acceptance, and eventually learning to live again.

Each phase is painful for a caregiver to witness, but for me, depression was by far the hardest. His lasted almost two full years.

Before the stroke, my husband was tough. He didn’t back down, didn’t complain, and certainly didn’t cry. I expected that same strength to carry him through recovery — but the person I brought home from rehab was not the man I knew.

He became a shell of himself overnight. He cried throughout the day, refused to eat, and sank deeper into a sadness that felt impossible to reach.

⸻

THE EMOTIONAL COLLAPSE NO ONE TALKS ABOUT

Meals became battlegrounds. He wouldn’t touch anything I cooked. Accepting food, in his mind, meant accepting the stroke and all it had taken from him.

So I began hiding healthy snack bars and cookies around the house so he could “find” them without feeling like he was giving in. He would eat them secretly and hide the wrappers in his pocket, thinking I wouldn’t know.

Some moments were quiet, and then out of nowhere he would burst into tears. Once, at a doctor’s office, he suddenly turned his wheelchair around and started heading toward the exit. When I gently walked over to guide him back inside, he screamed loudly as if I was hurting him.

Everyone turned and stared. I wanted to disappear.

⸻

WHEN ANTIDEPRESSANTS AREN’T ENOUGH

I spent countless hours sitting beside him, speaking affirmations and encouraging him. None of it seemed to help. His doctors prescribed two antidepressants and an appetite stimulant after a month of this.

I was so hopeful.

But nothing changed.

For nearly two years, he cycled between irritability, anger, crying spells, and emotional shutdown. It broke my heart, and I know it broke his too.

⸻

THE REAL DIAGNOSIS THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Eventually, a neurologist finally pieced together what was really happening. The antidepressants weren’t failing — they were treating the wrong thing.

He wasn’t only depressed.

He had Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA) — a neurological condition that sometimes appears after a stroke and causes uncontrollable crying, laughing, or emotional outbursts that don’t match the situation.

She prescribed a medication called Nuedexta, and for us, it was a complete game changer. The constant crying stopped. The sudden emotional explosions eased. For the first time in months, I felt like I could breathe again.

⸻

A STROKE CHANGES EVERYTHING — INCLUDING THE JOURNEY

Stroke recovery teaches you one undeniable truth: you conquer one hurdle, and another is waiting. The brain is healing, rewiring, and adapting daily — and caregivers must adjust right along with it.

My next post will talk about something every caregiver faces but no one prepares you for: how to handle setbacks without losing hope.

Until next time.

This blog contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products that support caregiving, comfort, and daily living.